Uncensored Thoughts on Sex, Vulnerability, and Spirituality After 6 Years of Marriage
We found ourselves in Iceland on our sixth wedding anniversary.
It was our first “big” vacation in four years. Between moving to Colorado, buying a house, renovating said house, changing jobs, and the ongoing effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, international travel just wasn’t in the cards (or, to be honest, the budget).
However, at the tail end of 2021, we decided it was time for a real vacation. So, we cashed in a lot of credit cards miles we’d accumulated (Pro tip: If you’re renovating a house, run every purchase and contract labor expense through a travel card), booked a flight to Iceland, and planned out a 2-week road trip along the famous “Ring Road” that traces the island’s coastline.
On the day of our wedding anniversary, we boarded a “Superjeep,” crossed multiple glacier meltwater rivers, and entered Þórsmörk, a beautiful valley in the southern highlands nestled between three glaciers and a volcano. It was also, to put it mildly, a beautiful day in Iceland — sunny skies, no clouds, and the occasional cooling breeze.
Our guide took us to the top of a narrow peak to eat our pre-packaged lunch. There, we sat and ate overlooking a landscape of braided rivers, glacial valleys, and volcanic upheaval. It felt, to be honest, like a high point — figuratively and literally — because the past year had been one of the most challenging and informative seasons of our marriage.
From leaving a highly volatile work environment and beginning therapy to (still) renovating a home and working multiple jobs each, our sixth year of marriage felt particularly difficult. Along the way, we’ve also rethought our approaches to sex, reckoned with interpersonal conflict, and wrestled with our spiritual expectations.
For those new to my blog, every year I write an open and honest article about the lessons I’ve learned in marriage over the course of the previous year. My goal is to tackle issues that appear (to me, at least) nearly universal in marriage through an extremely personal and vulnerable lens and write…